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Name: Horse chestnuts.

History: Introduced to the UK over four centuries back.

Look: Nature's Labubu.

No, I don’t think that’s right. It is. Go and watch a TikTok video of someone unboxing a conker, and you’ll almost certainly hear them call it “the earth's Labubu”.

Opening up horse chestnuts? What on Earth are you talking about? Goodness, you are definitely not up to date, aren’t you? Young people are using social platforms to record videos removing conkers from their spiky capsules.

What's the reason? Because of the sense of wonder! When you unbox a conker, you can't predict what you’re going to get. Will it be big? Might it be flattened? What will its shine level be? It is similar to a surprise package every time!

Do Labubu dolls share those traits? No, they’re somewhat eerie dolls that have become highly sought-after because they also come in mystery boxes.

Would someone inform the younger crowd that they’re doing conkers wrong? Are they? How do you do conkers, then?

You put a shoelace through the middle of them, and try to destroy everyone else’s conkers. Is that true? That’s unusual.

Yeah. Your odds improve if you soak the conker in vinegar overnight and then heat it in the oven. You're not joking?

Truly. And should you gather an excess, you can toss them in the schoolyard and all the other kids will fight each other for them. A lovely item from nature like a conker, and you use it as a tool for battle? A weapon that comes with a lengthy list of complex and confusing guidelines?

That's the custom! King Charles literally just presented the global conker competition with a gift of 300 conkers! At least gen Z is only filming them.

Why don’t you know this? Probably, because some schools started banning conkers twenty years back, due to concerns over well-being.

The modern world never fails to amaze me. Maybe revealing horse chestnuts just isn’t your thing. In which case, perhaps you would be better suited to some other popular youth fads.

Oh really? Like what? Well, there’s this thing called knitting, and something else called pottery that I can describe for you.

We’ve had knitting and pottery for centuries! Let me guess, you heat tools in apple drink and then use them to jab one another?

Certainly not! OK, relax. I thought all old-people traditions involved violence in some form, after that conker thing.

This is overwhelming. Relax for a moment. If you need me, I’ll be unboxing seeds for clicks.

Appropriate comment: “TikTok can’t stop filming conker reveals.”

What to avoid: “This is nuts.”